The Art of Letting Go in Life and Art

 "To live in this world

you must be able

 to do three things:

to love what is mortal;

to hold it 

against your bones 

knowing 

your life depends on it;

and, when the times comes to let it go,

to let it go." 

-- Mary Oliver, The Blackwater Woods

When this year began, I knew it would be a year of letting go. How much I’d need to let go of, I didn’t know, but I knew inevitable changes were coming that would force me to face losses of different kinds. That these losses would happen within the same week was a surprise—and an awakening to new beginnings I never could have imagined or planned.

At the end of June, we lost our beloved cat Charley Noble. He had been diagnosed with cancer four years ago and had been defying the vet’s prognosis year after year. Until this spring, when he just couldn’t keep fighting any longer. Charley died in my arms at home on a Monday morning. He’d waited for me to come home from a workshop the night before and then spent the night in my arms. Saying goodbye to our sweet boy was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. But it was his time. It was our time. To do what had to be done. To hold, comfort, and let our beloved cat go as he took his final breaths was a precious and rare gift. So I let him go.

That Tuesday morning, movers for an auction house packed and removed more than 300 pieces of furniture, crystal, silver, glass, china, collectibles, linens, and jewelry from our apartment. These were items that had been collected by my parents, then left to me after they died. These were items my parents had meant to deal with for years—many items even had brittle post-it notes on them, “To sell” in faded pencil, my mother’s distinctively messy handwriting. But the collections became too much for them and so these items came to me. Until this year I couldn’t find the strength to deal with them and thankfully, because my apartment has storage space, most of these items could stay stored out of sight, out of mind. But the knowledge that I would have to deal with them was always in the back of my mind—and that nagging feeling created in me a sense of anger—towards my parents,  towards the items, towards the work I knew was coming to sort, organize, and decide what to do with each and every item. 

It was only earlier this year that I was ready to allow the anger to dissipate, to allow myself to detach from the emotions and the memories. To do what had to be done. What had to be done was to let these items go. So I let them go.

On Thursday morning I met with my trainer Jay at the gym. I was feeling raw from the events of the past few days and couldn’t keep the tears at bay. “I just need you to push me today,” I said. And with a bear hug and a “Let’s do this,” Jay pushed me and I worked out. Before our hour was over, Jay asked me to weigh-in. I’ve been consistently losing weight, getting healthier and stronger since February 2015, but I didn’t know what the scale was going to show me that week. It showed me that I’d lost forty pounds. Pounds that had been slowing me down. Pounds that had been numbing me. Pounds that had been scaring me. I achieved a milestone that week. Did what had to be done. So I let them go.

That week finally over, I was at once exhausted and elated.  And one week later I was out of town teaching a writing workshop with lots of focus on revision. And what is revision? Isn’t revision of our work a method of allowing ourselves to recognize what needs to be changed and adjusted, to do what needs to be done, and to let go? Of course it is. Writers do this all the time. It's often the hardest part and the best part of the writing process. Letting go for the sake of finding the best possible whole. 

Letting go is sad and letting go is freeing.  Living over-weighted by weight for so long; living in worry and sadness for so long with Charley’s illness; living in anger and angst for so long with inherited items I didn’t want--I can’t shake the notion that letting go of all of it had to happen at the same time. It’s all interrelated and I know I wouldn’t have been able to do the letting go without somehow experiencing all of it at the same time. Coming out the other side my home is change and I am changed. I am freed. I am sad. I am happy. I am whole. 

(c) emma d dryden, drydenbks llc

The Art of Letting Go in Life and Art

When this year began, I knew it would be a year of letting go. How much I’d need to let go of, I didn’t know, but I knew inevitable changes were coming that would force me to face losses of different kinds. That these losses would happen within the same week was a surprise—and an awakening to new beginnings I never could have imagined or planned.

At the end of June, we lost our beloved cat Charley Noble. He had been diagnosed with cancer four years ago and had been defying the vet’s prognosis year after year. Until this spring, when he just couldn’t keep fighting any longer. Charley died in my arms at home on a Monday morning. He’d waited for me to come home from a workshop the night before and then spent the night in my arms. Saying goodbye to our sweet boy was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. But it was his time. It was our time. To do what had to be done. To hold, comfort, and let our beloved cat go as he took his final breaths was a precious and rare gift. So I let him go.

That Tuesday morning, movers for an auction house packed and removed more than 300 pieces of furniture, crystal, silver, glass, china, collectibles, linens, and jewelry from our apartment. These were items that had been collected by my parents, then left to me after they died. These were items my parents had meant to deal with for years—many items even had brittle post-it notes on them, “To sell” in faded pencil, my mother’s distinctively messy handwriting. But the collections became too much for them and so these items came to me. Until this year I couldn’t find the strength to deal with them and thankfully, because my apartment has storage space, most of these items could stay stored out of sight, out of mind. But the knowledge that I would have to deal with them was always in the back of my mind—and that nagging feeling created in me a sense of anger—towards my parents,  towards the items, towards the work I knew was coming to sort, organize, and decide what to do with each and every item. 

It was only earlier this year that I was ready to allow the anger to dissipate, to allow myself to detach from the emotions and the memories. To do what had to be done. What had to be done was to let these items go. So I let them go.

On Thursday morning I met with my trainer Jay at the gym. I was feeling raw from the events of the past few days and couldn’t keep the tears at bay. “I just need you to push me today,” I said. And with a bear hug and a “Let’s do this,” Jay pushed me and I worked out. Before our hour was over, Jay asked me to weigh-in. I’ve been consistently losing weight, getting healthier and stronger since February 2015, but I didn’t know what the scale was going to show me that week. It showed me that I’d lost forty pounds. Pounds that had been slowing me down. Pounds that had been insulating me. Pounds that had been scaring me. I achieved a milestone that week. Did what had to be done. So I let them go.

That week finally over, I was at once exhausted and elated.  And one week later I was out of town teaching a writing workshop with lots of focus on revision. And what is revision? Isn’t revision of our work a method of allowing ourselves to recognize what needs to be changed and adjusted, to do what needs to be done, and to let go? Of course it is. Writers do this all the time. It's often the hardest part and the best part of the writing process. Letting go for the sake of finding the best possible whole. 

Letting go is sad and letting go is freeing.  Living over-weighted by weight for so long; living in worry and sadness for so long with Charley’s illness; living in anger and angst for so long with inherited items I didn’t want--I can’t shake the notion that letting go of all of it had to happen at the same time. It’s all interrelated and I know I wouldn’t have been able to do the letting go without somehow experiencing all of it at the same time. Coming out the other side my home is changed and I am changed. I am freed. I am sad. I am happy. I am whole. 

(c) emma d dryden, drydenbks llc

Experiencing Our Stories With All Of Our Senses

My good friend and colleague, artist Roxie Munro recently shared a very important article that got me thinking about why I edit the way I edit and why I make a certain editorial suggestion to authors.

The article is titled "Why Handwriting Is Still Essential in the Keyboard Age" and is written for the New York Times by the inestimable Perri Klass, a pediatrician who is a Professor of Journalism and Pediatrics at New York University and is National Medical Director of Reach Out and Read, the national literacy organization which works through doctors and nurses to promote parents reading aloud to young children.

I found myself nodding vigorously as I read this article and then I started to feel downright validated for a certain editorial suggestion I often make to authors and which authors, for the most part, tend to hate with a passion. That suggestion? To hand write your manuscript. Yup! I tell authors over and over again not to underestimate the value of writing out their manuscripts by hand at least once all the way through, either in the early draft phase or in the revision phase of their process. For picture book authors, this is a piece of cake. For poets, this is common practice. For novelists, not so much. But who ever said writing would be easy?

Susan Cooper's early notes for her
Dark Is Rising sequence
(www.TheLostLand.com)

As we were working on one of her manuscripts, author Susan Cooper once told me she hand writes her early drafts of novels on yellow lined legal-size pads of paper. And look at Susan Cooper--she's won the Newbery Medal, the Newbery Honor, the Margaret Edward Award, and a whole lot more. She's doing something right. And to my mind it is hand writing her early drafts that not only helps discipline her thoughts but also helps fully engage her on multiple levels as she's immersing herself in her story and characters.

Why do I suggest authors hand write their manuscripts? To immerse as many senses at once in the creation of a story: Hand writing engages the hands and touch; hand writing engages the ears (the sound of a pencil or pen crossing paper is a form of background music that can't be created in any other way); hand writing engages the eyes. If one is writing with scented pens, hand writing can even engage the sense of smell. Lest you think I'm being flip, there is a distinctive smell of pencil on paper, the smell of certain inks and pens is distinctive, and the smell of eraser is distinctive, too--and these can certainly add to the overall immersive sensory experience of hand writing. So the only sense hand writing may not directly engage is the sense of taste. But before we leave it at that, I actually did write a post a while back on the very subject of the importance of listening to our manuscript being read aloud as not only a means to hear the work, but to in fact taste it and sense it. So tasting our work is not such a crazy idea as much as delicious one.

Roxie Munro inking one of her pieces. Talk about
immersion! (www.roxiemunro.com)

Think for a moment about artists and illustrators--people who work with paints, brushes, inks, papers, and all sort of fabrics and materials to create their artwork. Talk about an immersive sensory engagement where smell is most definitely as engages as touch, sight, and hearing. And perhaps even taste too. 

Suffice to say, the more fully engaged and immersed one can be with their creative work, the more fully a part of the work one will become on deeply sensory and emotional levels that may be not able to be described, but can be experienced and felt. The more we experience and feel as we create our stories, the more our stories will allow readers to experience and feel.

When I'm editing a manuscript--be it an 80-word picture book or an 80,000-word novel, I always ALWAYS hand write notes, comments, and impressions on the manuscript pages and in red wide-ruled letter-size notebooks. I don't ever EVER share these hand written notes with authors; this process of hand writing my notes is an essential step in my editorial process and it's something I need to do before ever typing up an editorial memo or typing in Track Changes. The hand writing process is my way of getting immersed in the word and in the story, is my way of helping myself remember what I'm reading, and is my way of clarifying what I'm really thinking.

In her article, Perri Klass is writing specifically about the importance of children hand writing. She quotes Karin James, a professor of psychology and brain sciences, who says, "My overarching research focuses on how learning and interacting with the world with out hands has a really significant effect on our cognition, on how writing by hand changes brain function and can change brain development."  I'm not a scientist, but I'm going to go out on a limb here and say I don't think stimulating brain function in this way ends in childhood. I think writing by hand continues to stimulate and change brain function throughout our adult lives.

So I challenge you:  Hand write your manuscript. See what happens. Start easily, with a scene or a sequence or a chapter. Then keep going if you possibly can. Experience your work with as many senses as you possibly can. It's got to be great for your brain and I can promise it will be great for your stories!

(c) emma d dryden, drydenbks llc

Children's Book Writing Workshop Opportunity!

I'm leading a five-day children's book writing workshop in July. 
We will be exploring first impressions of our work, voice, character building, world building, and revision techniques. 
It promises to be a creative, inspiring week of work and play--with a few ah ha! moments!

And it all takes places in beautiful Edgartown on Martha's Vineyard island in Massachusetts. 

I'd love it if you would join me!

You can register here, and if you sign up before May 15, there is a discount:
http://noepecenter.org/project/childrens-book-writing-workshop/

A Guest Post - and a GIVEAWAY!

"Throughout the journey, I've been asked many times if I ever wanted to write. The long and short answer to that question is "Yes." But that's easier said than done." - emma d dryden

I'm delighted and honored to be featured on Cynsations today - the always excellent and informative blog kept by Cynthia Leitich Smith. I've written a post about my experience writing WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE AN ENTREPRENEUR? entitled "Putting the Internal Editor in a Timeout."

And guess what? There's a fantastic GIVEAWAY! Here's where to go: 
http://cynthialeitichsmith.blogspot.com/2016/04/guest-post-giveaway-emma-dryden-on.html

Celebrating My Own Entrepreneurial Spirit!

what does it mean to be an entrepreneur?
by rana diorio & emma d dryden * illustrated by ken min

I am thrilled to announce the publication this week of a picture book I’ve co-authored for children ages 4-8. WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE AN ENTREPRENEUR? is a story about Rae who witnesses a doggie-ice cream mishap and is inspired, in true entrepreneurial spirit, to create a solution to help get dogs clean!

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE AN ENTREPRENEUR? is a book sure to empower young kids as it encourages imagination, courage, problem-solving, resourcefulness, and thoughtfulness. Inspired in part by my experiences launching and sustaining drydenbks LLC during the past five-and-a-half years, WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE AN ENTREPRENEUR? is a book I've had the pleasure of writing and conceiving with my friend and colleague, Rana DiOrio, Founder and Chief Executive Pickle of Little Pickle Press, which is illustrated masterfully by Ken Min, and which was designed and art directed by Leslie Iorillo. We're excited, honored, and proud to be able to introduce this book and the concept of entrepreneurism to a wide audience. (It seems there’s even a Girl Scouts Entrepreneur Badge, so the timing of this is ideal! Who knew?)

The book is being published by Little Pickle Press, an impressive green-conscious small independent press. You can read all about the book here: http://www.littlepicklepress.com/product/what-does-it-mean-to-be-an-entrepreneur/ and the book is available wherever books are sold, including through Amazon, B&N.com, or at your independent bookseller. I hope people will consider posting reviews online. I hope people will consider purchasing a copy for a teacher or librarian who can share it with kids to get young people thinking about what they can do to start changing the world!

Let's all share in the entrepreneurial spirit! If we support entrepreneurs, our world will be even more diverse, interesting, and creative!